Sorry, I know it has been a while since my last post, but I had to take my little cousin hunting. Anyway, let's get down to business. With the Rangers' season pulling a Terry Schiavo...too soon?.... and the draft fast approaching I figure its time for me to focus on the hurlers in this year's draft class. Check out what I said about some of the hitters.
Texas has 5 of the first 54 picks in next weekend's draft. With the system anemic at virtually every position, the Rangers should...I emphasis should because this is a team that historically doesn't do what it should, hence my reason for writing these columns... just focus on taking the best players available....A major cliche, I know, but it is more true baseball than in any other sport.
The last time the Rangers were in a similar position was in 1996, when they had four of the first 53 picks and used them all on pitchers. The Rangers ended up taking R.A. Dickey, Sam Marsonek, Corey Lee and Derrick Cook. Dickey, who has 16 Major League victories, is the only one of the four who pitched more than one game in the Major Leagues.
This is why I'm continuing my quest to spend no money and only a couple days researching/ranking players so I can give better player personnel advise than the Rangers scouting department with their far more time/resources/ability to actually see the players. Obviously since I have far fewer resources I won't be complaining about who the Rangers grab in the 42nd round. I'm focusing on the top picks, the money picks! where teams need to succeed. I also want to be the baseball Mel Kiper!
David Price LHP Vanderbilt - He's the Calvin Johnson of this draft, absolute stud in every way you can measure. He's going to go #1 to the D-Rays...which is great because if you add him to Kaz and Shields all of a sudden they have a strong front of the rotation to combine with the best collection of high upside young position players in the game. Yankees fans need to worry about the D-Rays.... I can't believe I just typed that, it makes me happy on several levels!
Andrew Brackman RHP NC State - Brackman is a really interesting guy in this draft. He's not the kind of guy I normally love going into a draft, but I think he makes sense for the Rangers on a couple of different levels. With so many picks at/near the top of this draft I think it makes more sense for Texas to have a higher risk tolerance than normal. Brackman is a risk. The Rangers also perennially have a need for top of the rotation pitching. Brackman can be an ace. Brackman is nearly 7 feet tall and as with virtually all very tall pitchers, they have problems with their mechanics early on which lead to bouts of wildness (37BB in 78IP) and even more problematic, injuries. I believe that pitching a baseball, done correctly, can result in a healthy arm. However done incorrectly, i.e. bad mechanics, and injuries will occur. Brackman pitches from low arm slot, slightly below 3/4, and he would be best served to increase his arm slot slightly, becoming more of a true 3/4 arm slot pitcher. When his arm drops low he loses break on his off speed stuff and downward movement on his fastball. With such long arms, it's easier for a guy like Brackman to make a tiny mistake. He has also faced some fatigue, missing his last couple starts...but personally I would rather see him sit out and not risk further damage to that million dollar arm. In terms of just pure stuff, nobody can match Brackman in this draft. He hits 97 with late downward movement with his fastball, he features a very effective knuckle curve that he throws 78-81 mph, Brackman throws his changeup in the 82-84 mph zone. It's an average offering he keeps around the strike zone. When he's on, he's unhittable. UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPSSSSSSSIIIIIIIDDDDDDDEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! He's a Boras guy, and his recent "tired arm" have caused him to slip in the draft...on upside/talent alone there aren't 5 guys better. He very well could be there when the Rangers pick...the second time.
Ross Detwiler LHP Missouri State - Widely considered the 2nd best college lefty, to Price, Detwiler has 2 plus pitches, fb and the old uncle Charley. However I won't spend much time on him since he's going to be a top 10 pick.
Daniel Moskos LHP Clemson - The guy I personally think is the 2nd best pitcher. But, alas, he too should be drafted before the Rangers are on the clock. Watch for him to be in the bigs in short order.
Brett Cecil LHP Maryland - Man, there's a bunch of good college lefties! Cecil has a nice fastball, low 90's, and his slider is virtually unhittable. Not very many amateurs have a big league pitch right now, Cecil does! Combine great stuff with flawless, repeatable mechanics, and dominating a high level of college play (8 saves, 62/19 K/BB) and you get a really, really good prospect. Some people view Cecil as just a LOOGY, but he did start for the Turtles late in the season and has the ability to get hitters out multiple times thru the order. Cecil for some reason could be had supplemental round, but he's legit.
Joe Savery LHP Rice - He may not have good enough stuff to succeed in the bigs, but Savery is one of the best all around players in college. A 2-way player for the Owls, Savery posted a 2.91 ERA while leading the team in batting. Joe has a prototypical pitcher's frame, 6'3'' 215, and is very athletic. His fastball and change are far and away his two best pitches at this point, but he's also never focused solely on being a pitcher. He already has great control with those two pitches, and if he curve develops into a decent offering he'll have an effective repertoire. Savery is just a baseball player, and I like taking chances on guys like him.
Sean Morgan RHP Tulane - I had a Spanish class with Sean, so **HOMER PICK ALERT**!!
But Sean also had 122K's which make him a legit prospect. Morgan has excellent movement on all of his pitches; fb, duce, slider. Sean also have very deceptive mechanics, he's very much "all arms and legs" flying at the hitter. Really the only thing stopping Sean from being one of the top prospects in the game is his control he walked 49 this year, which is way too many. If you can straighten out his mechanics, Morgan has the stuff and the makeup/desire/passion for the game to succeed.
Chance Chapman RHP Oral Roberts - Ok, so maybe I stumbled upon his name after a google search f-ed up. But I'm glad I found him because Chapman has put up some really sick numbers for the Golden Eagles this year. The 6'4'' senior righty threw 88 innings, splitting time between the bullpen and rotation. In those 88 frames, Chapman K'ed 121 opposing batters while issuing free passes to only 25. Me likey K/BB ratios of nearly 5/1! And guys who only surrender 2 long balls all year while playing in hitter's parks. Maybe that wasn't so eloquent, and I haven't seen anything about Chapman on any other site, meaning that Chance Chapman is a Sports Bully exclusive!
Justin Friend RHP Ok State - Another fellow that absolutely no one is talking about. Friend is pretty similar to Chapman in that despite posting amazing numbers while splitting time between closing and starting they haven't garnered much national attention. That's how I like my prospects, let's me know I'm onto somethin'. In the 53.2 innings that Friend pitched this last season he struck out 74 while only walking 13! Like Chapman, I have not seen any video of Justin pitching so I can not attest to his mechanics...but both of their remarkable control abilities lead me to believe that they have sound, repeatable mechanics.
James Simmons RHP UC Riverside - This is one guy whose eye popping stats have actually gotten noticed by others. A third team All-American by Baseball America, Simmons is a top-notch command right hander. He doesn't have over powering stuff, the scouts say, but he still somehow managed to strike out 113 batters while walking just 21. Simmons has a big pitcher's body, 6'4'' 215, which makes you think he could add a few more mph's onto his fastball which currently sits in the low 90's. Simmons deals with a low leg kick, making him quick to the plate which discourages the few who do reach on him from stealing, and keeps his leg fairly straight throughout the delivery. He has great arm position in the windup and a nice loose release.
Casey Weathers RHP Vanderbilt - We'll end this one alphabetically. Weathers was the closer for the #1 ranked Commodores this year. Weathers appeared in nearly half of the teams games, 28 of 62, and racked up an 11-2 record, not bad for a closer huh? Weathers also had 7 saves, probably representing the only 7 close games Vandy played all year. In 44.1 IP 67 opposing batters got a K next to their name in the scoresheet and only 18 got BB. If a guy was that dominate at that high a level you must think that he has great stuff, and with Weathers you'd be right. When the catcher throws down 1 finger the ball comes in at 95-97 mph and when he calls for the slide piece, he gets an 84-86 mph offering that breaks hard late and leaves hitters baffled. Casey hides the ball well in this delivery, with a very high leg kick that confuses hitters because he swings his glove side elbow along with it. While somewhat unconventional, I like Weathers' motion. He has good arm placement and despite a herky-jerky look, his head remains perfectly still. The mid-late first round pick projects as a potential closer in the Show.
I'll be back with a few high schoolers that I've seen enough to actually make an evaluation on, and my world famous 'Oh-my-God-I-really-really-hope-the-Rangers-aren't-stupid-enough-to-actually-pick-these-guys-but-I-kinda-think-they-are' picks. 'Til then.
Smell ya later.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Friday, May 25, 2007
College Baseball Prospects
I wanted to clear up something I mentioned in a recent article. I said that I would put my player evaluating skills up to those of the Rangers front office brass. So what I will do is go thru and look up players by myself. I will spend no money to do this! I will not pay for any ESPN Insider information or Baseball America Top Tools lists. I will spend a few hours a week researching players, and focus on guys that the Rangers could draft... I know David Price P from Vandy is amazing but unless you're a Devil Ray fan you won't see your team get him.
I already brought you up to date on the greatness of Matt Wieters and Matt LaPorta. So here is a quick look at some of the other top collegiate hitters in this year's draft...according to me.
Beau Mills 3B LCSC - LCSC is Lewis and Clark State College, btw. Mills is a transfer from Fresno State, where he had academic issues (which should raise a few ?'s.) But, Mills is hitting .459/.553/1.000... no that isn't a typeo he's slugging 1.000!!! That's how a guy who plays NAIA ball gets a chance to go in the top 5 of the draft. He broke the school single season record for homers, 30, in 20 fewer games than it took the previous record holder. Mills has also only struck out 17 times so far this year, meaning he can crush while consistently making contact! I do have some concerns about the level of competition, there's a long way to go from the Frontier Confrenece to MLB. The lefthanded hitting Mills had some rather troubling splits this year while he killed righties like me with Ken Griffey Jr on SNES, his average against southpaws was nearly 200 points lower, .503 vRH/.339 vLH. He'll prolly shift to 1B in the pros, since he made 11 errors at 3B this year, but his bat could be for real.
Todd Frazier SS Rutgers - Simply, Frazier is one of the best hitters in college and the fact that he plays a premium defensive position doesn't hurt. Frazier absolutely raked this year to the tune of a .375/.502/.751 line for the Nappy Headed Hoes. Frazier complimented his 50 BB's by going 21/25 on steal attempts. There aren't a ton of SS's in this years draft and his bat will carry him even if he moves to third or second base.
Corey Brown OF OkState - Brown hasn't gotten much pub from the few other people covering the draft but this centerfielder's batting line should make people take notice, .358/.512/.791! He does have a high strikeout rate, but he reminds me a lot of a Brad Wilkerson (stop the jokes Ranger's fans...it's a compliment) or young Jeremy Burnitz type player... a guy with good power, good defense, great eye at the plate and decent speed. Very underrated guy who could end up being a 5-6 win player in the show.
Matt Mangini 3B OkState - No mention of the OSU Cowboys would be complete without Mr Mangini. This hot corner...er? lead the 06 Cape Cod league in batting. While his numbers this season have been somewhat short of dominate, .343/.445/.566, they're still pretty darned good and he's already proven he can hit with the wood bat.
Kyle Russell OF UT - This longhorn right fielder lead DI in slugging this year, .877! Very tall and fairly thin, Russell has a very quick bat and big time power. Russell has a decent eye, 35BB in 187AB's, but swings and misses an awful lot, 32% of the time over the last two years. Russell also lead the 06 Cap Cod League in K's. I could see him being somewhat of a Shawn Green type player.
Mitch Canham C OrSt - Canham is the kind of college player I really like, accomplished college player, who plays a premium defensive position, who has a great eye at the plate, and a little bit of pop. Canham hit .352/.478/.593 for the Beavers this year.
Danny Payne OF GaTech - Along with Canham and Brown, Payne is another vastly underrated player in this year's draft. Payne has the patience at the plate to carry him all the way to the bigs. He's small and over looked by a lot of scouts but I'll take a guy who hit .393/.522/.582 on my team.
Now I have a sneaking suspicion that none of these guys will be Rangers, but all of them stand a good chance at being good big leaguers...and most of them will. JD the challenge is officially on, see what you can do with an entire scouting department a multi-million dollar budget and far more time than I have. I still think I'm the favorite in this.
Anyway I'm off to the Temple to see Dice-K v B-Mac. I'll be back with more hitters, the pitchers and the few high school players I've seen enough to make a recommendation about.
I already brought you up to date on the greatness of Matt Wieters and Matt LaPorta. So here is a quick look at some of the other top collegiate hitters in this year's draft...according to me.
Beau Mills 3B LCSC - LCSC is Lewis and Clark State College, btw. Mills is a transfer from Fresno State, where he had academic issues (which should raise a few ?'s.) But, Mills is hitting .459/.553/1.000... no that isn't a typeo he's slugging 1.000!!! That's how a guy who plays NAIA ball gets a chance to go in the top 5 of the draft. He broke the school single season record for homers, 30, in 20 fewer games than it took the previous record holder. Mills has also only struck out 17 times so far this year, meaning he can crush while consistently making contact! I do have some concerns about the level of competition, there's a long way to go from the Frontier Confrenece to MLB. The lefthanded hitting Mills had some rather troubling splits this year while he killed righties like me with Ken Griffey Jr on SNES, his average against southpaws was nearly 200 points lower, .503 vRH/.339 vLH. He'll prolly shift to 1B in the pros, since he made 11 errors at 3B this year, but his bat could be for real.
Todd Frazier SS Rutgers - Simply, Frazier is one of the best hitters in college and the fact that he plays a premium defensive position doesn't hurt. Frazier absolutely raked this year to the tune of a .375/.502/.751 line for the Nappy Headed Hoes. Frazier complimented his 50 BB's by going 21/25 on steal attempts. There aren't a ton of SS's in this years draft and his bat will carry him even if he moves to third or second base.
Corey Brown OF OkState - Brown hasn't gotten much pub from the few other people covering the draft but this centerfielder's batting line should make people take notice, .358/.512/.791! He does have a high strikeout rate, but he reminds me a lot of a Brad Wilkerson (stop the jokes Ranger's fans...it's a compliment) or young Jeremy Burnitz type player... a guy with good power, good defense, great eye at the plate and decent speed. Very underrated guy who could end up being a 5-6 win player in the show.
Matt Mangini 3B OkState - No mention of the OSU Cowboys would be complete without Mr Mangini. This hot corner...er? lead the 06 Cape Cod league in batting. While his numbers this season have been somewhat short of dominate, .343/.445/.566, they're still pretty darned good and he's already proven he can hit with the wood bat.
Kyle Russell OF UT - This longhorn right fielder lead DI in slugging this year, .877! Very tall and fairly thin, Russell has a very quick bat and big time power. Russell has a decent eye, 35BB in 187AB's, but swings and misses an awful lot, 32% of the time over the last two years. Russell also lead the 06 Cap Cod League in K's. I could see him being somewhat of a Shawn Green type player.
Mitch Canham C OrSt - Canham is the kind of college player I really like, accomplished college player, who plays a premium defensive position, who has a great eye at the plate, and a little bit of pop. Canham hit .352/.478/.593 for the Beavers this year.
Danny Payne OF GaTech - Along with Canham and Brown, Payne is another vastly underrated player in this year's draft. Payne has the patience at the plate to carry him all the way to the bigs. He's small and over looked by a lot of scouts but I'll take a guy who hit .393/.522/.582 on my team.
Now I have a sneaking suspicion that none of these guys will be Rangers, but all of them stand a good chance at being good big leaguers...and most of them will. JD the challenge is officially on, see what you can do with an entire scouting department a multi-million dollar budget and far more time than I have. I still think I'm the favorite in this.
Anyway I'm off to the Temple to see Dice-K v B-Mac. I'll be back with more hitters, the pitchers and the few high school players I've seen enough to make a recommendation about.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Crazy Athlete of the Week
This week's award goes to Tampa Bay Devil Rays rookie Elijah Dukes. Pretty wheels off story. So congrats to Mr. Dukes, the inaugural winner of this prestigious award.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Pretty Nice little Tuesday
Pretty major sports Tuesday, several topics to cover. We'll get to what we can but I doubt we can cover everything...I don't know if we'll have enough time.
Big news, that you heard first here, North Texas will host Super Bowl XLV
Since you come to Sports Bullies for all the most up to date information on the web, here are the VERY FIRST Super Bowl XLV Predictions:
JJ: The Dallas Cowboys defeat the Cincinnati Bengals. Bill Cower coaches the Boys to his second Super Bowl victory.
KC: Cowboys over Cleveland Browns. Da Boys win "the Battle for Brady Quinn", as Tony Romo out duels Quinn who had an off day due to his on going custody battle with now ex-wife Scarlett Johannson. Score Dallas 137 Cleveland -4
Brian: Redskins beat San Diego 27-14. The Redskins philosophy of spending tons of money on over the hill superstars finally pays off as a new technology is discovered that reverses physical aging. The Redskins, lead by a resurgent John Elway and Jerry Rice, demolish the competition in route to thier super bowl win. (Jerry Rice actually did not use any age reducing cream, he simply doubled his offseason training regiment). A young looking coach Joe Gibbs dismisses questions about use of the age reducing technology by saying the team won simply because they were "super smart". Super Bowl MVP Clinton Portis says he is going to use his super bowl earnings to buy a dog training and fighting facility. Roger Godell upon hearing the news crys and itches his sandy vagina.
Dallas the pre season favorite to win the super bowl fell short due to Tony "Homo" Romo botching an extra point hold for the 5th season in a row. Dallas Coach Wade "son of bum" Phillips defends his decision to keep Romo in as the extra point holder by saying "My man boobs are not as big as Parcells but they still have power!!!!"
KC: Who wins in a fight, Wade Phillips vs a Hurricane?
Lincoln & JJ: Wade Phillips!!
KC: Not so fast my friends, the name of the hurricane is hurricane Wade Phillips.
Lincoln: Oooohh
JJ: That is a tough one...
Brian: I don't think you can actually say Super Bowl, we might get sued by the NFL for saying it. Look out for Goodell!
Sorry that we have to cut this blog short...JJ made the kitchen explode...no time to explain.
Big news, that you heard first here, North Texas will host Super Bowl XLV
Since you come to Sports Bullies for all the most up to date information on the web, here are the VERY FIRST Super Bowl XLV Predictions:
JJ: The Dallas Cowboys defeat the Cincinnati Bengals. Bill Cower coaches the Boys to his second Super Bowl victory.
KC: Cowboys over Cleveland Browns. Da Boys win "the Battle for Brady Quinn", as Tony Romo out duels Quinn who had an off day due to his on going custody battle with now ex-wife Scarlett Johannson. Score Dallas 137 Cleveland -4
**Correction KC informs me that his prediction was 137 to -5 because "how could you get -4??!!?" **
Lincoln: Dallas beats New England. The Cowboys end the Pats back to back Super Bowl run as Wade Phillips out coaches Bill Belicheck with Tony Romo catching the game winning touchdown on a half back pass from the leagues leading rusher, Darren McFadden. Coach Philips' use of the single wing offense will earn him a spot in football lore. Despite the late game heroics, Super Bowl XLV will always be remembered for the half time show when Hanna Montana experiences another infamous 'wardrobe malfunction.'Brian: Redskins beat San Diego 27-14. The Redskins philosophy of spending tons of money on over the hill superstars finally pays off as a new technology is discovered that reverses physical aging. The Redskins, lead by a resurgent John Elway and Jerry Rice, demolish the competition in route to thier super bowl win. (Jerry Rice actually did not use any age reducing cream, he simply doubled his offseason training regiment). A young looking coach Joe Gibbs dismisses questions about use of the age reducing technology by saying the team won simply because they were "super smart". Super Bowl MVP Clinton Portis says he is going to use his super bowl earnings to buy a dog training and fighting facility. Roger Godell upon hearing the news crys and itches his sandy vagina.
Dallas the pre season favorite to win the super bowl fell short due to Tony "Homo" Romo botching an extra point hold for the 5th season in a row. Dallas Coach Wade "son of bum" Phillips defends his decision to keep Romo in as the extra point holder by saying "My man boobs are not as big as Parcells but they still have power!!!!"
KC: Who wins in a fight, Wade Phillips vs a Hurricane?
Lincoln & JJ: Wade Phillips!!
KC: Not so fast my friends, the name of the hurricane is hurricane Wade Phillips.
Lincoln: Oooohh
JJ: That is a tough one...
Brian: I don't think you can actually say Super Bowl, we might get sued by the NFL for saying it. Look out for Goodell!
Sorry that we have to cut this blog short...JJ made the kitchen explode...no time to explain.
2011 SUPER BOWL
BREAKING NEWS!!!
Dallas will host the 2011 Super Bowl in their new stadium.
Hotels and restaurants are starting to jack up prices as we speak.
Thanks Stauback.
Dallas will host the 2011 Super Bowl in their new stadium.
Hotels and restaurants are starting to jack up prices as we speak.
Thanks Stauback.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
A Shocking Sports Week
There are quite a lot of hot sports topics to hit on this post: the Bavarian Blitzkrieg taking home some major hardware, Blalock becoming a dinosaur, the Rangers... yeah the Rangers, the Yankees reverting to pre-1920's status, Goodell's Guiltiness Gamut, and the OS (Obscure Sport) of the week: Women's College Water Polo. Let's take these from the back to the front. Just like with your mom... Last night... In your bed... Sorry, these just keep coming to me...
Women's College... Moving on.
Goodell's Guiltiness Gamut* (Also the name of our upcoming Neo-classical Hard rock/techno band featuring guest vocals from Willie Nelson.)
*Gamut really reminded us of the X-Men character Gambit who, in some kind of cruel sick joke, hasn't been in any of the 3 previous movies. How is that possible. You have Quill but not Gambit!?!? His renegade style and New-Orleans based character should be enough.
The legal system is based on precedent. So we are trying to come up with a scale, or a gamut have you, of offenses and their corresponding punishments. Here is what our hard-working, under-paid researchers have come up with
0 games: Killing someone. Some examples would include Ray-Ray Lewis, and Leonard Little straight up murdering someones ass.
2 games: Unnecessary roughness. An example would be Martin v. McMahon.
JJ: Wow, unnecessary roughness, sounds like my Friday night.
Lincoln: You were in Temple Friday night.
4 games: Forming an army large enough to fortify Lesotho. Examples: Tank Johnson actually owning a tank or some other highly illegal weapon, Rocket Ismail, his brother Missile Ismail, and not to be forgotten Rifles McGee.
5 games: Stomping a mud hole in someones goofy ass because your team was getting owned and you were getting destroyed by the player that you repeatedly stomped in the face after you ripped off his helmet. Example being Albert "Look who we've got our Haynes(worth) on now."
JJ: (Shaking head in disgust) "Your better than that."
Lincoln: Sorry had a little Berman in me. I can see that you have that look in your eye. I'm gonna go back, back, back. back...
JJ: Btw, we need to party with that guy.
8 games: Contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Example Chris Henry, who's 4,000 other arrests don't help his case.
JJ: Wow, "contributing to the delinquency of a minor", sounds like my Friday night.
Lincoln: You think your cool, with your little Jew 'fro?
1 year: Making it RAIN!! Unless you are English or retarded you know who we are talking about.
As Yankee haters world-wide have rejoiced, the Yankees have decided to put up the white flag already. As evident of this, is the many mysterious injuries to their players. Hughes; which saddened the Merkins, C-Piddy, and over half the roster. I mean really, how many hamstring injuries can you have in a week? 10 1/2 back in the division (to the 2007 World Series Champs), 8 1/2 back in the Wild Card, behind 7 other teams in said Wild Card which is 1 fewer than the number of pitchers who have made their MLB debut this season including Tyler Clippard making him the "Yankee Clippard" and only ahead of 4 teams in the American League.
Speaking of one of those teams, your 2007 Texas Rangers.
JJ: Isn't their slogan "You could use some baseball"?
Lincoln: No. They now changed it to "We Suck." or "You could use some baseball- open tryouts June 2-4."
JJ: Nice!!
So to try and put a little positive spin on this, the Rangers DID win 2 of 3 and kinda captured the Silver Boot for now. They are now off pace for 100 loses!!! Call Laura Miller, get a parade planned. I'm officially putting my skills as a talent evaluator against those in the Rangers front office.
In other Rangers news, Blalock was diagnosed with Thoracic Outlet Syndrome. We can't decide if that means he is the God of Thunder or a dinosaur. All we know is he is getting a rib removed, presumably by doctor God Shammgod.
Finally, and most importantly, Dirka Dirka, MVP.
JJ: Today redemption is spelled D-I-R-K. Also, gay is spelled C-U-B-A-N.
Lincoln: Actually, I thought it was beautiful that he was able to express his emotions in such a beautiful and heartwarming way. To tell another man what he truly means is all too rare in the world of sports and I for one applaud him for it. (Sniff)
JJ: (Blank look) FAG!!!
I for one wasn't sad or ashamed Dirk won because its a FREAKIN' REGULAR SEASON AWARD. Dirk was amazing and there is no denying that. And for all those Suns homers that say the Suns can't win without Nash as evident from their record and that the Mavs could win without Dirk just because he could stay healthy, just know that Nash is no where near the caliber of Russell, Bird, and Chamberlin. He isn't a 3 time MVP, so get off your high horse. Also, he got the Suns 1 freakin' round further than Dirk did. Not a lot to brag about there. So in closing, congrats Dirk, and piss off Suns retards.
Women's College... Moving on.
Goodell's Guiltiness Gamut* (Also the name of our upcoming Neo-classical Hard rock/techno band featuring guest vocals from Willie Nelson.)
*Gamut really reminded us of the X-Men character Gambit who, in some kind of cruel sick joke, hasn't been in any of the 3 previous movies. How is that possible. You have Quill but not Gambit!?!? His renegade style and New-Orleans based character should be enough.
The legal system is based on precedent. So we are trying to come up with a scale, or a gamut have you, of offenses and their corresponding punishments. Here is what our hard-working, under-paid researchers have come up with
0 games: Killing someone. Some examples would include Ray-Ray Lewis, and Leonard Little straight up murdering someones ass.
2 games: Unnecessary roughness. An example would be Martin v. McMahon.
JJ: Wow, unnecessary roughness, sounds like my Friday night.
Lincoln: You were in Temple Friday night.
4 games: Forming an army large enough to fortify Lesotho. Examples: Tank Johnson actually owning a tank or some other highly illegal weapon, Rocket Ismail, his brother Missile Ismail, and not to be forgotten Rifles McGee.
5 games: Stomping a mud hole in someones goofy ass because your team was getting owned and you were getting destroyed by the player that you repeatedly stomped in the face after you ripped off his helmet. Example being Albert "Look who we've got our Haynes(worth) on now."
JJ: (Shaking head in disgust) "Your better than that."
Lincoln: Sorry had a little Berman in me. I can see that you have that look in your eye. I'm gonna go back, back, back. back...
JJ: Btw, we need to party with that guy.
8 games: Contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Example Chris Henry, who's 4,000 other arrests don't help his case.
JJ: Wow, "contributing to the delinquency of a minor", sounds like my Friday night.
Lincoln: You think your cool, with your little Jew 'fro?
1 year: Making it RAIN!! Unless you are English or retarded you know who we are talking about.
As Yankee haters world-wide have rejoiced, the Yankees have decided to put up the white flag already. As evident of this, is the many mysterious injuries to their players. Hughes; which saddened the Merkins, C-Piddy, and over half the roster. I mean really, how many hamstring injuries can you have in a week? 10 1/2 back in the division (to the 2007 World Series Champs), 8 1/2 back in the Wild Card, behind 7 other teams in said Wild Card which is 1 fewer than the number of pitchers who have made their MLB debut this season including Tyler Clippard making him the "Yankee Clippard" and only ahead of 4 teams in the American League.
Speaking of one of those teams, your 2007 Texas Rangers.
JJ: Isn't their slogan "You could use some baseball"?
Lincoln: No. They now changed it to "We Suck." or "You could use some baseball- open tryouts June 2-4."
JJ: Nice!!
So to try and put a little positive spin on this, the Rangers DID win 2 of 3 and kinda captured the Silver Boot for now. They are now off pace for 100 loses!!! Call Laura Miller, get a parade planned. I'm officially putting my skills as a talent evaluator against those in the Rangers front office.
In other Rangers news, Blalock was diagnosed with Thoracic Outlet Syndrome. We can't decide if that means he is the God of Thunder or a dinosaur. All we know is he is getting a rib removed, presumably by doctor God Shammgod.
Finally, and most importantly, Dirka Dirka, MVP.
JJ: Today redemption is spelled D-I-R-K. Also, gay is spelled C-U-B-A-N.
Lincoln: Actually, I thought it was beautiful that he was able to express his emotions in such a beautiful and heartwarming way. To tell another man what he truly means is all too rare in the world of sports and I for one applaud him for it. (Sniff)
JJ: (Blank look) FAG!!!
I for one wasn't sad or ashamed Dirk won because its a FREAKIN' REGULAR SEASON AWARD. Dirk was amazing and there is no denying that. And for all those Suns homers that say the Suns can't win without Nash as evident from their record and that the Mavs could win without Dirk just because he could stay healthy, just know that Nash is no where near the caliber of Russell, Bird, and Chamberlin. He isn't a 3 time MVP, so get off your high horse. Also, he got the Suns 1 freakin' round further than Dirk did. Not a lot to brag about there. So in closing, congrats Dirk, and piss off Suns retards.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Preakness Picks
Lincoln here to win you money.
The exact box is fairly easy on this one:
4 - Curlin
8 - Street Sense
It won't pay much, but the odds of it hitting are extremely good.... As I'm writing this the odds on Street Sense are just 7-5 which is a little high, I expect those odds to go down, he should go off at even money.... and that's still not a bad bet!
So now that you've got the 4 and 8 boxed and next month's rent on Street Sense straight up... Here's how to retire early it's a big ticket but if it doesn't hit I'll give away a special free three year subscription to Sports Bullies!
Superfecta:
Win: 4/8
Place: 3/4/8
Show: 2/3/4/5/7
Fourth: 2/3/5/7
Count it! Championship!
The exact box is fairly easy on this one:
4 - Curlin
8 - Street Sense
It won't pay much, but the odds of it hitting are extremely good.... As I'm writing this the odds on Street Sense are just 7-5 which is a little high, I expect those odds to go down, he should go off at even money.... and that's still not a bad bet!
So now that you've got the 4 and 8 boxed and next month's rent on Street Sense straight up... Here's how to retire early it's a big ticket but if it doesn't hit I'll give away a special free three year subscription to Sports Bullies!
Superfecta:
Win: 4/8
Place: 3/4/8
Show: 2/3/4/5/7
Fourth: 2/3/5/7
Count it! Championship!
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